31/1/2008 – sign off – to the blog that’s name was insiped by a toe piercing

copy & paste from the person who gave me the gift of poetry

 

The red seat,

it is quite sad

for the dust has covered it

and made it look bad

but it really has character

some would say

so dust it and sit there

and enjoy it today.

This seat is magic

it was given with love

and comes with an angel

that sits right above

so if ever your sad

or  feeling quite blue

just sit there and know

that I’m always with you

Talk to you tomorrow. Love mum.

walking – just walking – getting closer to making steps- tomorrow’s agenda – passport pic’s, new shoes  - and driver’s license .

prev unposted blog – closing of blog

copy and paste job done of selected parts ….  ok to post on blog  by ethics commitee: stacy- 8/11/2007

When you were close, the different Michelles were far easier to identify.

First of all: our five days together are still great in my memories. That will never change. And I still do think that we both should get out of it that we are both loveable people. It has proved to me that things like that really do exist, and I’m extremely grateful for that.

Please get it in your head that you are a wonderful person, and when Mister Right comes along you will be everything he will ever need. I’m not Mister Right for you, and you are not Mrs Right for me. For 5 wonderful days we were, but we both have to go on living now.

reading this old unposted blog – makes me kind of sad – but i choose to focus on the gain of it all .  that really love can happen in 5 days (whether it last’s or not , is completely different!!! )  - but j.p – where ever you are in the world - god bless you , i hope you have found all the freedom’s  you needed to find . M

love songs & dedications

8.05pm – i spent the last bit of sunlight , with ipod and love songs. It’s  a good thing - even the ex dedicated love songs – don’t seem to stir me to much these days .  Me being the highly music obsessed person that i am – i have left a lot’s of music flowing of my presence with previous lover’s – and perhaps a man has shed a tear for me .

that’s the thing about break ups, whether the relationship has been 3 days , 3 weeks or 3 years - a decision is made - it’s done- you can pour your heart out , but it’s not going stop it , you or the other person – arent going to change their mind – and if they do- by then you’ll never really trust them with your heart again .

i do wonder sometimes about the one that got away – the ones i should of fought for ,  and the one’s i should of let go of a long fucking time ago .

we don’t mean to hurt in break up – it just happen’s – people feel & react!

whether it’s pride,love and all in between .

blog is almost coming to close – for reason that  will no doubtley be written up in last post .

taking challenging hills of merewether again , and  being a fat chicks hero – all in the day of the life of michelle  - happy i can’t believe tommorow is hump day – M

15 minutes of my time

hey , i have a headache- the kind of headache that has require me to take a nurofen , rub some lavender oil into my temple and a cold washers with a 20 minute nap – while it’s still sunny!!!

but I thought I’d give this blog 15 minutes of my day , to some up  the long weekend and  start the  process of ceasing of blog. 

 Interesting time , projects achieved , party had . The weekend even brang me a freind  who I havent seen for years .

but me,  What am I  doing?  : I’m collecting my resource folder – I’m taking stock of the education i’ve done, the growing i’ve had – and trying to make it work for me – and yes , that scarces me – Success and Failure often does     

poetry of destiny & hammocks

For a moment there i was paralysed ,

no dramactics or tears shed.

I don’t   know a man’s pain

but i have breeze, bells and my own instead.

Will he cry , or forget i exist.

Freedom around us,

Butterflies, bows and bliss .

For I have been saved ,

by no resistence of arrest .

Michelle Cummings 27/1/2008 – 6.46+pm

i wish i had a laptop for my hammock

God Bless you – that’s what I have to say- I don’t want to be angry at you- It’s not about anger – but you know every single one of my buttons and it’s natural to push them. Everyone is resistant to change- but God Bless you – it’s about being heard and being taken seriously. So god bless you – (it’s a rosary way of sending good vibes to the universe but not backing down )

God bless you – and please try and think of it from my perspective – or perhaps – listen and identify and fix’s it and so on in process This is not about my insecurity – this is about being truthful to me – and if the truth is that you are ashamed of me then I can deal ( i do honestly see you as better than that but the  evidence does point) – I’m owed the truth – I am significant in your life – is that something your ashamed of .  what is the  hiding about ? 

online dating profile

Hi my name is michelle. I can  sometimes cook (esp when not under pressure by people watching )   I do the usaul girl stuff , like clean , bleed and do my hair and put make up on  sometimes( occasionally i even wear dresses) . Im a excellent host , with a hot apartment , spa and hammock

But importantly the thing that you need to know about me , is there is no idea too strange for me not too consider .

 I like the J’s and I vote – engage me in a conversion about politics and business strategies and im yours. he he

Im a “dirty whore” smoker, who is a work in progress, but I’m a dam fine lover, giver and always fun to share beer o clock with on a friday afternoon .  

About my potential new freind or possible partner : I’m looking for some one who is not racist , homophonic or harshly judgemental .  I’m looking for some one postive - for someone who will recycle & start a compost  with me , for some one who i can learn and teach with . Someone that has a sense of humour , but is o.k  with the occasional D&M’s (some weeks more  than others) Someone who knows who they are , that can be in the moment and take joy in it .

More about me: I have curves – all the right ones , but im far from a supermodel, but sometimes i can be a superhero  - I enjoy a healthy diet and walks along the beach, but i also enjoy chocolate in all it’s forms, double brie and Sourdough bread( carbs overload )

Im putting this out to the universe – and waiting to see what response i get  - cheers, in yahoo starsigns telling me to update my online profile . Randoms of web land - Drop me a line by  posting comment - happy friday always – M

where r all my undies gone

im having a massive day sha voo moment(the spelling of that isnt in my thesaurus)  - ive written this blog in a dream- actually i remember telling Damo about this dream when i woke up . but seriously  where have all my undies gone!

and it’s strange because when i had this dream i would of never imagine that i would be in this position emotionally & spiritually .(or even have a blog – hell i didnt even know what a blog was 2 years ago!)

 Tonight i did the trip to D.C for mummy’s birthday and country sausages - the smell of country  air is beautiful – all those years as a teenager that i wanted to get the hell out of the place and now i honestly enjoy the drive there and the beauty of the place .

Many unresolved issue’s that was brung up  at an appointment i had the evening – but instead of presuming that it’s my fault ( my childhood trained me that way) Ive come to realized – that im not sure why this particular person isnt doin thing that they are doing , it’s displayed pretty obvouisly over the last 2 years- with excuses each time – but to confront - and not take the excuses – I have evidence , clear cut evidence – now what to do with it !!!!

Woot – for my mummy’s 52nd b’day and chocolate cake  - Cheers, M  

sore thighs- happier heart

2 job contacts , re discovering the challenging hills of merewether , and getting home  to dinner that was made for me – felt like a bunch a roses( god im going to miss Tezza’s cooking) – M

Holy crap – and tuna salad

holy fuck – it’s going to cost me 7 and a half gran to go to the u.k for 30 days! thats more than my car is worth with a rego and insurance!! but in perspective it’s 3 mths pay – and i think it’s payable – within 2/12 years- maybe sooner if i get a better job .

and in prespective- i will go on the london eye , step in to a irish bar  and maybe , just maybe  I will get see a long lost friend .

on other reality moments – my brother and i are divided, i made my sister in law cry – by sticking up for myself , and tomorrow i have to face work . my heart beats !

  I think my coping mechanism will  be to try to mindful of my little achievements and moments of joy in the day .  p.s i did 2  meduim walks today – and i feel like i’ve got my training wheels on for this getting back on the Bike business . Sometimes you need to hit black and low- to rise – Feb  08 is surely shaping and forming itself .

cheers, your slighty chirpeir freind on training wheels    , m